Life really is a wonderful thing. What is it they say? You’ve only got one so make the most of it and enjoy it to the fullest. Inspiring words to live by indeed. Whilst life is a wonderful thing, that word, wonderful, can be slightly misleading. Under the right circumstances, yes life can be fantastic. Let’s be honest though, how many of us manage to find that right set of circumstances to proclaim their life “wonderful”? It is an interesting question, one I would really like you to answer. (partake in our poll below and try and be honest)
With the right mental attitude and an aptitude for making the right decisions I firmly believe a wonderful life is achievable. However, there are so many obstacles, speed bumps, whatever you want to call them along the way, that making those right choices really becomes an almighty challenge. If you are like me, those obstacles have come thick and fast through the years. I would like to think that I have made those right choices. I can assure you however it has not always been the case.
This is going to sound slightly narcissistic. But I now believe that one can only be truly happy when one makes decisions that is best for ones self. I am starting to realise this more and more in my midlife. For the longest time I really had trouble with decision making. You see, I believe myself to be a considerate and caring guy (own horn, toot toot). For the most part I have always held the happiness of those I care about and respect far and above that of my own. In essence, when decision making throughout the years, more often than not I would make decisions based on sparing others pain or discomfort rather than taking care of what is most important, ME.
There is a certain part of me that is proud of who I am and what I represent. The fact that I would carry the burden to spare others surely must be seen as a positive attribute. Maybe you think it is. Personally, I am not so sure anymore. Life experience has told me it comes at a rather large cost. That being ones own emotional and mental health. I can attest that being this “nice guy” (boy, I hope I am actually perceived as nice and not a complete DICK) more often than not leaves me feeling hurt, disappointed, used. I am tired of feeling this way.
Critically, a few years back I made a pretty important decision in my life. No longer would I put the welfare of others above that of my own or that of my family. You may think this is huge shame as the world needs more people of an unselfish, caring nature, NOT LESS. Oh how “wonderful” life would truly be if this were a reality. Simply it is not. Apparently, and please correct me if you think I am wrong here, being caring and thoughtful makes you weak. And we all know how humanities perceived strong like to walk all over the weak. It is a predicament that truly SUCKS, it seems to me however that it is just a part of human nature.
Which brings me back to decisions. I don’t want to force anything down anyone’s throat. You are all adults who are capable of making your own decisions. In saying that, through my own life experiences I take pleasure in offering perspectives that perhaps one might not have considered or thus far lacked the courage to follow through on. So here goes.
Always and I mean always make the decisions that are best for you and your family.
Some of those decisions will be tough in the moment. Some of them may mean you have to disappoint or let someone down. That may be difficult for you and leave you feeling you have done wrong. You need to toss that genuine but flawed thought process far away and begin to build a strong sense of self worth and importance. Make the decisions that are best for you and your family and consider nothing else as important. This and only this will give you the very best chance of leading that “wonderful” life.
I want to end off by once again talking mental health. I have made one such tough decision recently. It was in fact one of the hardest on my entire life to date. As I sit here writing this I am still upset, hurt and disappointed by the entire situation that transpired. It is not a wonderful feeling. However, in the same moment I feel a sense of balance and pride. Balance in my life as I am no longer allowing outside forces to dictate it’s flow and pride that I have taken a stand and found the courage to make a tough decision against all odds for the betterment of those who are truly important. This will undoubtedly help my state of mental health in the long term, once the fresh wound has healed.
(As you know the subject of mental health is very important to us here on OzUncut. We have many resources and stories in our mental health section of the site. Please pay it a visit and share anything you may find could be helpful to someone. As a suggestion, perhaps this link could help many who currently struggle to find balance and happiness)
6 WAYS TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION & ANXIETY
So what decisions have you made lately?
Hi Oz. You cannot please everyone all the time. Its impossible and will make you feel miserable sometimes. Do what you feel is right for you and your loved ones. And yes, we need to first learn to love ourselves to be able to love others and be loved back. You’re not alone. I am goung through that phase too.
Thanks Clive…. good luck with your transition also….